Couples and Conservation

The biggest thing that happened to me in the past few years was meeting my husband, and getting married. I never had a lot of boyfriends, and went from being very single to being in a serious relationship within a space of two weeks. It didn't let up from there. Meanwhile I found my life changing in other ways. Rules that I had tried to live by were relaxed. Things were more hectic. Hobbies were abandoned.

I know that I have changed a lot. I believe that my husband has changed a lot as well. I see the changes, although I didn't know him before I started dating him, so my opinion is suspect.

One challenge that we face and that I imagine is common to face when you start a relationship is how to live your values. I care about conservation. I was working in the field when I met my husband. But I don't think that he had ever though seriously about conservation. He has other pet issues, which I had also not considered.

As we have grown closer to each other, we have both started adopting part of each others' pet issues. I have become more frugal. He has become more interested in conservation. He warns me against becoming a fanatic when I state that I don't want to buy any cheap plastic toys for our future progeny. But he is often the one to point out how we can cut down on driving to save energy.

The Frugal Lifestyle

Phil Brewer at Wise Bread wrote a post asking whether frugality is a tactic or a goal. There was a time when I would have said that it was a tactic. But while living in Sede Boqer on very little money, I have changed my mind. I hope not to lose my newfound perspective when we move to CA at the end of theyear.

First of all, my definition of frugality. To me, frugal living means paying attention to how you spend your time and money. Aiming for value. I want to do that in my life. Part of the conservation ethos is “Reduce, reuse, recycle.” That phrase is also relevant to frugality. Trying to use what you have, to be creative, to spend your time and money on what is most important to you. Here are seven benefits (okay six benefits and one justification) of a frugal lifestyle. I also think that No Impact Man has a good post detailing benefits here.

1. The frugal lifestyle builds community

How many of the things that we buy keep us away from other people? When you have no car, you walk, or take the bus, or get a ride from someone else. Each of these options means some interaction. Once you buy your own vehicle, you are on your own. Your commute is solo. Housing is similar. Maybe you start out with roommates, then move into your own apartment, then buy a house. At least in the apartment building you probably utilize some common space, even if it is the nearby park. When you own your own home, you can even build a playground for your kids. Everyone has their own space in the house, which is great, but you don’t have to spend time together. That time together is how you bond, how you learn to form friendships and negotiate conflicts.

2. The frugal lifestyle is active

No Impact Man recently posted on a Shabbat dinner he attended in the home of orthodox religious friends. He mentioned that they sang together, and he enjoyed it so much that he vowed to bring music making into his own home. The consumer lifestyle brings you perfect singing. You get used to perfect, packaged goods. You become passive. You don’t want people to hear you sing, because you don’t sing that well. Something you make is not good enough to be in your home, to be displayed, or to be given as a gift. Your activity becomes shopping, to buy the music, to buy the artwork or the mosaic table.

3. The frugal lifestyle is fun

Singing and making art is fun. Much more fun than shopping. It is relaxing. It will teach you about yourself. It is a great way to spend time with other people. It should not be reserved for professionals. One thing I’ve noticed is that Americans seem more self conscious than people from most other cultures. I think it is because we compare ourselves to perfect packaged goods. Relax! Sing, dance, draw, sculpt—just have fun with it.

4. The frugal lifestyle is comfortable (for the soul)
   

I went to Guatemala for three months when I was 21. I stayed with a host family, and had a lot of fun playing with the six year old boy. We played with all his toys. They fit in a shoebox. We had fun. It makes me uncomfortable to see the plastic wave of toys that engulfs my friends’ houses when they start having kids (note—I am sure it will engulf my home as well when we start a family. I’ve never seen anyone successfully resist this). Plastic is a petroleum product. Fossil fuels are so named because they are like fossils, they are remnants of an ancient process. When you use it all, it is gone. Isn’t it a shame that we are using it for all these toys? It is very hard to resist buying these things, but if you can shield your household just a little from the consumerist urge to buy these toys, no one will be worse off. It is sad to see all the waste we create in the US. It will take a lot of work to change this.

Note—plastic toys make a good example because they are ubiquitous and so wasteful, but most consumer goods can be classified in this way at least to some extent. We all have our favorites.

5. The frugal lifestyle is healthy

I never use coupons. Because I buy whole foods and cook from scratch. You can’t find coupons for “apples.” Making meals out of whole ingredients is healthier for you, and pretty much beats all the diets you can find in weight loss books. A goal I have when we move is to try making cleaning products or at worst buy natural ones. This will take away the headaches I get every time we clean with the industrial stuff. It will reduce my family’s exposure to toxic chemicals. By riding a bike or walking to work you exercise.

6. The frugal lifestyle takes less work

This is a philosophical point. If you can live on less, you have to work less to achieve your income. Also, if you buy labor saving stuff, like dryers, dishwashers, disposals, microwaves—they cost money to buy, the repairs cost money, and using them costs money. You are working at your job to earn that money. If you love your job, it is a good exchange. If you don’t like your job, it is a bad exchange. Keep in mind, most of these don’t save you all that much time (depending on your family situation of course : ).

But here’s another example. A lot of people spend money on landscaping services. A company comes in, sprays their yard with pesticides, lays down fertilizer, cuts the grass with noisy machines. We are in the middle of a biodiversity crisis. If more people would let their yard go wild, or mostly wild, it would be a great thing for birds, native plant species, and other wild critters. Plus think of all the energy that would be saved. Plus, there is beauty in every landscape, from desert to forest. Display that beauty in your yard. It is much less work than mowing your lawn!

7. I hate driving

Okay, so one of these things doesn’t belong here. But I can tell you that while living in the suburbs and working12 miles away, if I drove I was spending around 2 hours a day driving. Sitting in traffic. I was half crazy. Not everyone feels this way, but Penelope Trunk wrote a column where she mentions that people’s commutes are a very unhappy time of their day. I can't find it now, but I have seen research that claims that the commute is very unpleasant, but by carpooling or taking public transportation, that time is transformed into happy time, or at the very least, happier time. By trying to minimize your commute, you do yourself a big favor. Trust me, walking to work beats driving there, even in a beemer.

Reduce--personal energy usage

The student housing that I have been issued as a master's student at the Blaustein Institute for Desert Research is environmentally friendly. It is lit during the day by daylight. It is heated in the winter by passive solar heating and during the summer we keep it cool by keeping everything closed. We have a solar hot water heater. I believe that the materials they used weren't the most sustainable, although I would have to check. This is a shame because according to the New York Times, the most important energy usage in buildings comes from the construction phase, so the building of the materials and then the durability of the house (if it isn't durable, you have to construct it again quickly).

However, living in a house that is designed to reduce my energy consumption has been interesting. I never gave a lot of thought to these issues, or the thought I gave was based on how much I was paying, before.

Nevertheless, my husband and I found that even here, we are among the highest electricity users. How could this be? I care about conservation. But it appears that like many conservationists, I care, but don't let that translate into action. I think it probably boils down to the big conservation indicator--wealth. My husband is older than I, saved money before returning for his Ph.D., and earns a higher scholarship than I. And we pool our resources and don't have children. So we don't have the same economic incentive to conserve electricity and have more devices that use electricity.

Even so, our electricity consumption is made up of the following:
12 lights (one of which I now replaced with a fluorescent)
1 ceiling fan
1 electronic fan
electronic component of our hot water heater
stereo
computer
hair dryer (SELDOM used)
oven
refrigerator
microwave
hot plate
electric teakettle
tv
cable box
phone
sony playstation
chargers for camera, cell phones, toothbrushes
electronic fan in the bathroom
2 space heaters
alarm clock
That is 32 items. Since hearing that we are high electricity consumers, I have tried to make some changes.

1. when a light went out, I replaced it with fluorescent lightbulb. DH hated the light, and it was in the area he uses as a workspace when he works from home. Instead, I put the fluorescent in the outside light, which we seldom use, but which it is possible to accidentally turn on and leave on, causing a big electricity drain.

2. I learned that vampires, things that suck energy when they are plugged in, even if not on, can use 10% of your electricity. For example a tv or cable box. So I try diligently to unplug them when not on, and educated DH about that. Also chargers stay unplugged now when not in use.

3. I learned that despite my previous hazy notion, items like computers do use more energy when left on. So now I try to always turn off the computer when not in use, and also pay attention to other things like the ceiling fan or radio, and turn them off.

Even with these changes, we have not done anything drastic. Our biggest usage is probably due to the fact that I am one of those people who is always cold, so we were leaving a space heater on overnight in the winter. What we should have done, is bought an extra blanket. Surely we could have even bought a used one, or borrowed one from DH's family. It is embarrassing to write that we didn't do that, but one must be honest.

Frugality

In the past couple of years, I have become more frugal. I have the feeling that may end in a few months, when we move back to the US. Now we live in a small desert town. There is a supermarket here, sufficient for buying needs (not wants). There is also a cafeteria that serves the same hot food until 7 p.m. and stays open for simple pastries and ice cream until 11? The truth is that the food there is extremely unappetizing so is no kind of temptation. I would much rather cook, or just make a sandwich, than eat there. Our supermarket closes at 7, so there is no last minute running out for the ingredient you forgot, or midnight ice cream runs. In fact, the supermarket closes early on Fridays (2) and is not open on Saturdays.

So basically there is no way to spend your money unless you travel. Since it is a small community, and we are all students, and things in Israel tend to be casual (except in Tel Aviv), there is no need for designer clothes. In fact, it isn't even a temptation to be at the mall and see fancy outfits because you just can't conceive of wearing them here.

There are no billboards here. The university gives us free satellite tv and internet connection. On satellite tv, most of the stations don't have any commercials. If you want to know about the newest product, you have to do some research.

We do go to the nearby city of Beer Sheva on a regular basis, and our biggest temptation is to go out for a reasonable dinner. Spending more on dinner seldom gets you better food in Beer Sheva. Since we live 45 minutes away, the temptation to drink is minimal.

There is a student pub here, but the prices are very low, so to get very drunk maybe you pay $10. The pub is open twice a week. I can't get very drunk very often (okay once in the close to two years that we have been here), so a further lack of temptation.

Since our housing is environmentally friendly, our electricity bill is low. We pay about $30 a month for my husband's portion of our housing--my portion is covered by my scholarship. Our biggest expenses are car related. We do have a used car, and we drive it to visit my husband's family 2.5 hours away from here every two weeks. We also frequently drive to Beer Sheva if both of us want to go there.

I don't feel deprived. Actually, being a newlywed, most of the time I am very happy. I hope I will take a lesson back to the US, that stuff is not important to happiness. It is harder there, when you are surrounded by advertising and opportunities to buy. I can't say that I am by nature a frugal person. I always try to sock away money, contribute to retirement accounts and find a way to be self sufficient. But I usually exceed my budget for things like eating out. While my dream expenditures are travel and classes, I secretly love clothing and pampering. If I were rich I could probably adjust to designer labels and day spas.

I think most people have some kind of stuff that really appeals to them. A lot of people like cars, or gadgets. To tell you the truth, it takes no kind of discipline for me to say no to an expensive new car or the latest gadget. With cars I just want something reliable and fuel efficient, and prefer public transportation or walking anyway. By far. I don't even want to learn how to use the latest gadget. I like internet radio, I feel like it has eliminated my need ever to buy cds (which I hate anyway--I am waiting for a new medium that doesn't get scratched so easily like almost all of my cd's did when I transferred them to a travel case). Books are a halfway temptation for me--I love to read, but I hate moving books around. I prefer to use the library or buy used and then donate.